Journey West

It's been a while since I wrote in here. I guess I'm finally calming down some, or to be honest, I've come to terms with what I have to do. Things have changed for me, drastically, I have to say. It wasn't that long ago that I had every intention of being the best Sheriff this town had seen since my father. I had high hopes, really high hopes, I shouldn't have had them. I know that now. Bastien warned me that people don't really care about things like hopes and dreams. They're only out there for themself. Eddie and I didn't buy it. We thought he was just talking like a bitter man, I should have listened to him though. I should have ignored my dreams and settled down for what I had rather then try to remake things. If it's not broken why fix it, right? Apparently though I thought I could do better, ha, that was a laugh. I've caused more problems then fixed them.

So what have I learned recently. Well I've learned that men don't seem to care about who's life they take and that death is nothing more then part of the world around us. Why should I care about a life if no one else is? After all, I've had to see people I care about die for no good reason and then because I haven't been able to solve something, my father has taken charge of things. Mother's worried about little Jackie, but with Peter stepping up to be a brother to him I think things should go well. At least I hope that with my father in charge things will come to an end.

As for myself I have every intention of finding out who killed Cedric and who's been behind these attacks. I'm tired of playing the part of my father. I have to find my own way in this, and if that means fighting against everything, then that is what I'll do, and I will find out the truth of who killed him. So help me god.

I thought going away would help things, but it didn't and now the man I love is dead. I feel sick to my stomache. Brooke...Alfred...I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do. I shouldn't have made my mistake I should have told you. You're right, I was horrible to you, and now I've lost you. I loved you so much...God why are you taking away the people I care about?! Why Alfred, why Cedric!

I'm going to find the men that did this. I'm going to make them pay for what they did. Even if I don't remain sheriff. I want to make them pay for what they did to this town. I won't rest till I find them and bring them down. I swear to it.

I got a letter in today from an old friend of mine, Kelsey Kingston. He's a lawyer out east, knows my mother's side of the family well, and he's asked if he could come here and lend a hand in a way. I told him if he wanted to he could. I just don't know anymore. Things keep going haywire and it's exhausting on me and Eddie.

Maybe I'm not as strong as I like to think. I don't know. All I know is that I'm becoming physically and emotionally exhausted from all of this, and I want a chance to just breath, even for a moment. But I can't do that. Uncle Mitchell keeps asking my father to let me take a trip, but how can I when we're in a state of this?

God, I don't know what to do. I feel like things are crashing down on me and I'm scared. I'm just...scared.

I don't even know where to begin Father. First off there is the problem with my friend Eddie. I'm not sure what to do to help him right now. He seems so lost at times. I've tried to cheer him up, tried to be there for him, but there are days that it doesn't work. And it doesn't help that so many people are running around with me being a gold digger or something. Since Sally died it's been hard on him, and some of the older women in town keep trying to play off their daughters as good mothering figures. But little Jack seems only to see me as a mothering figure right now, and that worries me. I don't want him to forget Sally.

Then there's Nell, I'm still unable to locate anything about her family. I think they may have been tennents or something, because there is no record of Nell's birth at any time in the records. So that means they weren't registered here either. Which means I won't be sure if they're dead or if they abandoned her. I'm also worried about Joe and how he's holding up.

Of course there's this wedding coming up for Mr. Westonbirt, and I'm not invited, no suprise there. But father should I be jealous of the fact that a woman who's younger then me is getting married while I'm still single? I must sound horrible saying such a thing. But I would at least like to have a husband and a family. Is that so much to ask for? I'm not asking for wealth, I'm happy with what I have, but I guess I would like to be treated as a woman rather then as a sheriff at times.

Now,on top of this, I have a wounded girl, and a perfume theif that I don't know much about. And Peter's gotten sick with this weather, with his heart and everything. I'm scared of loosing my brother. And Brooke...I love him, but father it's strange, I know it's hard for him to tell me how he feels but I want to at least hear it once in a while. I know he's not good with words and I do trust him, it's just...women like to hear that they're loved. Is it so hard for those words to come from him? I understand him, but the word love never crosses his lips and I worry that he's going to loose interest in me.

Father, please, tell me what I can do?

Jane.

This is Insane! This whole week, no month, has been nothing but insane. First the issue with Nell, then this Lostheart fellow robs a perfume store and me, like an idiot, didn't look over the posters here. So now this other girl is hurt....And to make matter's worse, little Jake heard my father use a curse word and he's going about using it too! Eddie's going to flip.

Private to Maggie:

Maggie, can I ask you something. In your humblest of opinions...what should I do about Brooke. I love him, I do, but at times I don't know what he's thinking or feeling, and it's really worrying me. Urgh then there's the fact that some of the ladies seem to think that there's more going on with me and Eddie when there isn't...I don't know what to do. Help!

There are several reports to give to the people of Sedona.

Remember to lock your doors at night. There have been cases of looters looking for items in the remains that we moved from the bombing sight. Just in case, please lock your doors and children must be with an adult after dark.

Also the Victorian company is sending in a small group to assist in the clean up of the town. Please be polite to them and again, if there is any fighting you're going to be cooling off in the cells in my office.

That is all.

This is insanity! I can not believe this happened in my town! We have an abdubtion and now a bombing and all within days of one another. There has to be some way of dealing with this. If anyone has any information please don't hesitate to infom Eddie or me. We'll be happy to listen to what you have to say and any information in regard to this bombing will net you a reward of a thousand dollars.

Invitation to All to Attend a Birthday Party for Peter William Winchester!


Who: Sheriff Jane Winchester is extending out invitations to all young adults, and those slightly older, to attend a birthday party for her brother Peter, who is turning 11 this week.

What: This is a suprise party, so please, don't mention this to him if you see him.

Where: Winchester Mansion (Not really a mansion), also known as Windridge house, in the southen part of the town. It's a green wooden house with a light tan roof. You can't miss it, it's the one with the fruit trees in the back.

When: Next week Thursday. Please all do attend. It starts promptly at five pm.

Why: Because Peter is turn 11, and he's past 10. This is an important time for him so I want people to celebrate.You don't have to bring gifts, but small things would be nice. He likes trainsets, horses, and books about perfume (he wants to be a perfumer when he gets older) would be appricated.

How: Come by any means that you can. Even if you can't at least try to send him a Happy Birthday. It would mean the world to him.